Saturday, July 12, 2014

My Kings What Happened to You?

Hello World....

It's been 3 months since my last installment.  Whew! I need to really get my time better organized.  I'm doing stuff I love to do but I have to figure out how to do it ALL properly. :-)

As you know, I speak my mind on different topics and today's entry is in reference to my view of our Kings, our men, our providers.  I meant to start this a few weeks earlier after I had an inbox Facebox altercation but have been delayed due to other things in life.  I'm sure you're curious about the above-mentioned altercation and I will tell you in just a moment.

What I have noticed is that our men have moved from the position of provider to being provided for.  It seems like they are more comfortable with laying up while the woman takes care of them.  I'm not saying this scenario is brand new but it seems that our younger generation of men are okay with it.  I'd really love to know first answer is more and more single mom homes with NO male support.

The moms, in this scenario, dote on their sons to the point of smothering causing them to be a "mama's boy" with no provision training.  Yes I said provision training.  They are raised to look for a woman to continue to take care of them.  It's rather sad to see this trend especially after being raised by the male generation that took pride in making sure the family was taken care of.  Of course, this does not describe ALL men but enough of them to make it very, very noticeable.

The facebook interaction that lead me to this thought pattern is as follows:

I don't proclaim and profess my dating life all over social media and I try to keep an even keeled momentum when conversing with members of the opposite sex on social media.  Dealing with marketing/PR events within the arts (music, dance, etc) I deal/connect with men a lot of the time.  I'm sure a lot of women have experienced the inbox message from a new male friend request scenario where you have to let him know you're not interested and not single.  One day I had an incredible experience with a guy that had already approached me with the "hey are you single?" vibe more than once, which I answered "no" each time, that really took it over the top.  It was his attitude that made me start thinking about our younger generation of african american men and how they view their position in society.  The scenario (abridged version) went as follows:

Strange FB Guy:  Hi. You don't know me but I met a woman here in Atlanta who I'd known for a few months and I thought I wanted to marry her.  She talked me into moving back with her to Texas where I would be living with her, her mother and her teenage son.  We had plans to open up a food truck business.  Her mother doesn't like me and they constantly fight about so I had to leave the house and now I'm homeless with no ID because I left my drivers license in GA.  Again, I don't know you but I wanted to know if you could send me something to help out, I wouldn't think of asking but the whole ticket is $100+.

Me: No.

Strange FB Guy: See that's what's wrong with society now, people don't want to help each other.  This is why we'll never come up as a people.

Me: *speechless*

And then as I was in the process of disconnecting from his page, I noticed he'd proceeded to adding cryptic status updates about  people not helping out those that could be an important influence on society.  Again, all I could do was look and laugh.

It seems that a lot of our men seem to be more inclined to being provided for versus being providers.  I see a man as two things, 1. protector 2. provider.  They are our kings, our heads of the households (in my eyes).  But I'm noticing more of a trend of men who seem to be okay with asking a woman for a hand out.  I was raised around and by the male generation that figured out how to provide for his family and wouldn't dare think about asking for a hand out.  This inbox guy literally showed me with his story that he had no plan for provision, had no problem asking a strange woman for money and then had the gall to hit me with a "our people will never come up" line when I didn't agree.

And to that I ask, My Kings...What Happened to You?  What happened to the men that know what it means to make something out of nothing? What happened to the providers? Why are they becoming a minority?

Another scenario that saddens me is that more and more of our Kings are subconsciously leading the Queens to be less than ladies.  They don't seem to attempt to court or date, immediately plans for jumping in the sack are in the air.  Molding a relationship is no longer a priority.  I saw a quote floating around the internet that basically said "People meet, jump into bed and create situations." and it seems to be accurate.  Again, this does not pertain to EVERYone, it's not a general statement but the men that prefer to get to know a lady definitely seem to be in the minority these days.  Instead of making us proud to be a lady, we get called "bitches", "whores", "thots" and the big new craze seems to be becoming a single mother.  At one time in society, an unwed mother was not looked upon as a good thing.  Men looked down on men who left a pregnant woman alone to raise his child.  These days, it seems our men eagerly look forward to planting a seed and leaving and the women have slowly morphed into the mindset of ONLY wanting to be a single mother instead of a wife.  And then they seem to be content with themselves with being able to say how strong or independent they are and how much a man isn't needed.  We are created by two parents for a reason, as individuals we are formed by the lessons of the father AND the mother.  This is slowly turning into a very vicious cycle and we have got to do something to reverse it.  My kings we are counting on you to lead the way.

As you know I ALWAYS end my blog on a positive note.  So here goes..... for every man that walks over me to get to a seat on the bus or train there is a man that gives up his seat and/or allows the women step on the bus or train ahead of him.  I see you my kings, I see young men showing that they are being trained by kings. For every mother that talks down about men in front of their children and/or keeps the father from seeing his kids for no other reason than just being evil, there is a mother that does her darndest to make sure the child is NEVER separated from his/her father.  I see you my queens, yes ma'am, I see you and thank you.

It's not totally hopeless but it's looking kind of bleak.  My kings, we need you.  You are definitely our leaders...believe it or not women follow your lead.  Quiet as it's kept, the entire world follows your lead.  You have no idea how much power you truly have, if you were to use it for good the world would be so much better.  Don't let the negative media rule the way our daughters and sons live, let them see what it means to be an upright man. Let our daughters see what good man looks like so they'll know when it's wrong.

Puttin my own spin on a long term cliche, it takes a village to raise a generation.  It takes a village of people that are willing to put up with naysayers, to put up with the ones that don't want to do better and for some off reason, want the rest of us to sit back and let it all go to hell in a hand basket.  It takes a village of Kings and Queens to keep pushing us to the top of our game!  My Kings we are watching and take our cues from you, make us proud!

Peace and Blessings....

Photo Credit:
"146 months old" - author unknown
"Lead by Example" -
"The Crown" -

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Lovers Holiday.....everyday?

Hello World...

This will be a short one...I have to speak on the reminder of my blessings that I received last month.

Valentines Day weekend was an icy week/weekend and our office moved that weekend.  The streets were crazy icy and I needed to go from SW Atlanta to NE Atlanta/Sandy Springs.  Thanks to an awesome business connection with a nearby hotel, I was able to lay my head down on the NE side without worrying about getting back to the SW side.  During my stay I was able to catch up on some shows, including my fave TNT, BRAVO and HBO channels.  One movie on HBO FAM snuck up on me, I don't know the title of it but it was a story of a country girl with a beautiful voice who made it big and then learned the real lesson of love.  The moral of the story is to use your gift from your heart and you get the full potential.

Another big thank you to the staff and management at Hyatt Place Perimeter.  Check out the Eat and Drink With Me review here.

Peace and Blessings.....

Saturday, February 22, 2014

P.U.S.H. - it works...

Hello World...

I'm loving life right now.  Things are happening an it's a beautiful thing!

Our office just recently moved, I was one of the coordinators on the team and *whew* i'm glad it's over.  Well the move part is over.  Now we get to combine 2 1/2 offices, different personalities and make it all work.  It's working right now, I can honestly say that.  I've just been moving a lot since Feb 13th and I now what to sit down for a minute.  Not for too long though.  I like my job but I've hid behind it for much too long. My youth is fading...I need to move.  I need to P.U.S.H. - pray until something happens - and at the same time

On the music scene I am singing background vocals for one of Atlanta's up and coming vocalists (by way of New Orleans), Meryl Lain in an Atlanta music event presented by International Choreographer Ursula Kendall of Ursula Inc, the flyer is posted below.

On the modeling scene, it is time for the annual ABS Fine Art and Apparel show.  That flyer is posted below too.

On the food scene, Eat and Drink With Me is doing it's own thing.  I'm currently connected with Nailah Travels for the Soul Beach Music fest in Aruba.  This is happening in May.  I have posted that flyer below.

Looking at all of this stuff makes me wanna go back to hiding under a rock while secretly wishing I was brave enough to use my gifts.  UUUh not gonna happen. If I don't do it this time, I'm going to die trying.  And my friends and associates will be able to say at my memorial, because i'm getting cremated, that she died sharing her gifts.  Last Sunday, Bishop called for single women who'd been divorced that had businesses to come forth to be prayed for.  Now, I hadn't been to church in a couple of weeks so physically being there was a blessing for me.  So when he had this odd request I immediately ran downstairs to get my blessing.  I've been talking to God for awhile about me doing better and humbly apologizing for trying to bury my gifts.  This was overwhelming because I was worried that my Father hadn't been hearing me and was worried that my lifestyle of late had pushed me away from grace. But "i love the Lord, He heard my cry and pitied every groan".  I now know what my elders were singing about.  I've done my dirt, I'm not perfect by ANY shape, form or fashion but I know and love the Lord and He knows it.

Oh and Mr. Man are doing juuust fine.... *wink*

I've been saying this for awhile but get ready for Nissa K! She's coming!  :-)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Look around and check out life..

Hello World...

It's been a minute..I haven't neglected ya, there have been a few moments that I've needed to stop and make a post but life has been moving at a fast pace these days with some interesting results.

I am more active in my meetup groups (Foodies Rock, Travel Abroad, Atlanta Food Bloggers Alliance) and yesterday I was at a meet up with Foodies Rock at Seabass Kitchen in Sandy Springs, GA.  Very interesting group of people.  It was a huge group - 30 people and we all showed I think we made the staff a little nervous.  I sat in between some of the seasoned members which held for interesting conversation.

I sat and talked to a psychologist who I probably needed to make an appointment with, an immigration lawyer who is hard of hearing and kept calling me "Anita", a recent divorcee whose hubby took her for 6 figures and screwed up her credit and she's the care giver for her parents who've been married 68 years, a married couple from new york and new england area, a recovering alcoholic who I didn't know was recovering before I ordered my Stella Artois (oops), a lady that kept me laughing who happens to be a commitment-phobe and who is now living with her guy of 6 months (good luck), an engineering student who dates around (hilarious sense of humor), another funny lady who would make any event/trip a hoot and our group moderator is British.  Bottom line: I had an interesting night coupled with good food!

Make sure to visit my site for the food review.

We are heading to New Orleans in September, I can't wait!!

We sit around and look at our problems and think we are doomed for life.  I know I did.  But when you take a look around and check out life, one tends to realize that their problems aren't as serious as it really seems.

I am on a whole new level of an interesting life.  It's a giant shift.  And I'm about to take a HUGE step in the right direction to do some awesome stuff.  I've run from it long enough.  I can't wait!

Word of the day....
Look around and check out'll find some happiness...

Peace and Blessings!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!!!

Hello World...

Happy New Year!!!

The sermon at our celebration service was "How can I get you to stretch?", Bishop preached out of Isaiah 55:15-20.    Bottom line, instead of living life in the mediocre...stretch out your faith and live life in the supernatural overflow.  Let that be your normal way of living.  I had been praying about just this! Nothing like getting confirmation!!

I ran across a sign on FB that says something about having 365 pages to write a new story. I brought it in celebrating life and then my day one started with me cooking a meal and taking it to "Mr. Man" at work and sat down and chit chatted with him at his store. :-) Yep, my first time cooking for Mr. Man...going into 8 months...he ate it all...pages 3-365 will be off tha chain!  Page 2: I launched my website last night, - honest food reviews only. I'll tell ya if I like it or not.  Service AND food. Check out the blog too -

I vow to stretch...starting with tithing with no thought....and trusting God to do the rest. that's it.  Bishop mentioned how simple it was to receive blessings when we were either broke with no job or getting paid very little. Our faith was SOOOO BIG!  Then when we get blessed, we forget and start doing stuff our way and then wonder why things go wrong.

I vow to physically stretch too.  I've actually stopped and I can FEEL the difference!  My poor muscles are all bunched up!  I will definitely do better!

No longer living in the mediocre - Not anymore...not over here!

Moral of this story:  Happy New Year - S-T-R-E-T-C-H out your faith....don't question the Universer/God/Allah...just do it!!

Peace and Blessings...

Sunday, December 29, 2013

We gon' see...

Hello World:

Well it's the new year! And i know people always come out with resolutions and stuff! Weight loss, better attitude or just the "This is my year" statement! LOL!

I always pop up with the "better attitude" statement.  I usually make a HUGE statement about what i'm going to do and be positive and a WHOLE bunch of stuff.  You don't believe me? Checkout my early 2013 posts. LOL!  Yep I was determined to be positive all throughout the year I was determined...yup but still making not so smart decisions....and by the latter part of 2013, I could tell shit might not be good at some point.

WELL guess what?  2014 is around the corner and to my naked eye, shit ain't looking good!!  Now on one side, I have recorded a couple of songs...but i didn't do ANY open mic performances. I never got the courage. At one point, i took a few voice lessons but couldn't continue them due to lack of $$.  I even did a few audio engineer type sessions but it was an hour away and so due to distance that didn't continue.  I'm sure dude will contact me again soon, I have his microphone. He let me use it to record songs. I even did a voice workshop with one of the industry's baddest vocalist, Keisha Jackson. Yup daughter of Millie Jackson and a sanging beast in her own right. Yup, I did but uuuh that didn't go anywhere.  I did join a church and celebrated a year there. I'm part of the Media Ministry.  I don't study the equipment like I need to since I'm no longer at school...oh yes, I didn't mention that part.  I found out that I no longer have student loan $$ available for school, so my journey at Ga State in the Film and Video program is definitely on pause, could be permanent pause.  I'm not sure but i DO know that I now have to start paying back loans..for me it's waaaay ahead of schedule.  On top of that the 9 to 5 that has been part of Atlanta life since my move here is starting to bore me.  Have I told 'em yet? Yep, kinda. So 2014 may also include a job change.  I'm slipping on taking care of my vehicle. And it's not even major stuff, just need to get the front brakes done and get a couple of new tires.  I did some research this last week and front & back brakes (with a mechanic putting own) plus two tires would cost me about $200.  An amount I'd easily have had I not gotten back into the payday loan rat race.  Oh I didn't mention that yet did I? Yep, like I said shit ain't looking good for me.

One good thing, I took my love for food review to a different level.  I now have a logo and food blog for my company Eat and Drink With Me.  Consumers can get to it via social media (FB, Twitter, Instagram) and I'm launching the official website 1-1-14.  I'm still working out how to get paid for reviewing food. LOL. Paying for it out of the pocket isn't going to work for too much longer.  So I do have at least one ray of sunshine in my life..something that I haven't messed up.

I often wonder if I'd had a kid by now, if that would have forced me to do better since someone else's life was depending on me.  I'm not sure. Sometimes I think "yes" sometimes "no". Since I haven't one yet (at 41) I couldn't tell ya.  I do know one thing, at 41, $$ definitely ain't like it should be. Hell my life isn't anything like I'd planned. I used to dream in color and literally I was singing with some group that I could never figure out who they were, but the harmony was so beautiful....I haven't had that type of dream in a long time!  I think it's finally too late.

You see the title of my post?  Yep that's where I am now.  I'm going to keep pushing forward but to my naked eye shit don't look good.  But because there is still a part of me that has mustard seed faith, I don't think I'll ever "end it all" and that little part of me also just keeps pushing forward.  Hope resides there.  Faith resides there.  Just that lil glimmer is there.  And that part of me is saying "We gon' see".  We gon' see, we gon' see, oh wait that's some country slang. We are going to see what happens, we are going to see what happens, we are going to see what happens.  There is still a special someone in my life but uuuuh with my decision-making skills being the way that they are, it's very possible that he'll back away slowly.  It's been 7 months and now comes the getting to see the real person part of it.  He may not like the real me...hell I may not like what I find out about him.  But as the title of my post says We gon' see!

Normally I have a positive ending to inspire YOU (the reader) but that's not going to happen this time.  I can tell you Happy Kwanzaa and that today's celebration point is:

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Hmmmmm maybe I did just uplift.  If not you, definitely myself.  I am going to try my damndest to keep it together for 2014.  To make the right decisions and be a better Me. (oops i did it!) LOL!  But I'm serious though.  Do you ever have those moments where you see yourself making a decision and part of you is saying "uuuh you're going to regret this later..." and then you do regret it later. Yup. Those moments...I've had them a lot!  

I need you Father, I need you in my life, in my spiritual ear at all times! Lord I need you to guide me in the right direction! In Jesus name, amen!

Ok this is it! Oh speaking of "This Is It" - I will be doing a food review at This Is It BBQ and Seafood - Campcreek location for New Years!  Feel free to join me on that #dineandreview adventure!  ;-)  (see how quick i came out of that funk?)  LOL! And that's what I'm talking about. I think about all of the crazy ass decisions I've made and start getting depressed and then I remind myself of the positive decisions I've made and life looks better.  I don't know.  I do know that I've set some things in motion that may not have the greatest turn out so uuum just stay tuned to what the hayal is about to happen in my world. LOL..but not really if you know what I mean.  Oh I didn't even get started on my crazy family and what they are doing or should I say not doing about the land that my grandparents left "us".  I tell ya what, money or the lack thereof, brings out the best in people.  Geesh! O_o

Thank you for entertaining "Hello World".

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I wish.....

Hello World:

I wish I was that girl that used my common sense back in the day to make better choices...I wish I was that girl that didn't get stuck in crazy ruts and feeling like I was in the movie "Groundhog Day"...I wish I was that girl that took advantage of the great and exciting opportunities that have been presented to me....I wish I wasn't going to be that woman that spoke about "could-a", "should-a", would-a"...but alas as I look at my upcoming 42nd birthday in a few months, it looks like I am.  I did not take advantage of the time given me to do the very best I could.  My life has been mediocre at best. Yes. I have been blessed to be around people who are actively "doing it" that keep me encouraged but I haven't truly stepped out on faith and used my talents.  My singing voice has dwindled and my spirit is fading....ever so slowly.  I continuously put myself into crazy financial situations...almost like a constant self-sabotage.  I continuously fight against this demon by speaking prosperity and faith and happiness in the universe and I don't let myself wallow in any type of pity BUT the truth is the truth...I have NOT done well with the gift of life that the Lord has given me.  I think I even allow myself to be taken advantage of by people even though I know from the beginning that they don't mean well simply out of punishment.  Some part of me feels like I don't deserve a full blown happiness.  How crazy is that?  I'm not sure why that is or where it came from...but it's there. *shrug*

I'm loving hanging out with "Mr. Man"...I'm currently working on a food blog -'s starting off great! I'm excited about it. I'm working on the official website, I have my logo.  I'm doing three things I around people, eat and tell people about it. LOL!  I grew up painfully shy but I love to be around people and events.  How oxymoronish is that?? (yup new word)   I feel like two different that wants to be happy and stable and one that is on a mission of self-rampage. (hashtag) crazy.

Moral of this story:
Continue to work on doing the right your bills on your nice to and the world will smile with you..tell yourself how great you are versus how less than...and don't trust anyone that your spirit tells you not to trust aka don't be naive...never trust people that over-encourage; why? they are up to something.  Yup.  There are folks out there that will take you for EVERYthing you have, even if it's not that much.  sad but true.  Encourage yourself.  As you end this read, click here to be further blessed on this day!

Peace be with you....peace be multiplied...

Nissa Kaye...